Here at Deep Throat Laboratories, our team of scientists has developed a groundbreaking procedure to alter the very structure of your vocal cords. By adjusting the tension and position of your vocal cords, we can revolutionize the way you speak. All our scientists at Deep Throat have undergone the procedure, not only because they used to sound like geeky weaklings but to demonstrate that science can be seductive, and the process is safe. The procedure begins with a quick examination to ensure that your mouth can accommodate the initial apparatus, which will be gently inserted. Once it's confirmed that the subject is suitable for the Deep Throat procedure, they undergo a complimentary consultation to determine their desired voice. This preferred vocal sound is then fed into a software program, which instructs the procedural device on how to modify the vocal cords to achieve the desired frequency. The device, dubbed the "Vocal Spritzer," emits a creamy white viscous liquid that either tightens or relaxes the vocal cord structure, depending on the liquid's viscosity. The vocal modification lasts for two months before the vocal cords revert to their natural state. Check out what some of our satisfied customers had to say!
"I was fed up with sounding like a whiny little wuss all the time. Thanks to Deep Throat, I now sound like someone to be taken seriously!" "My wife has always adored Brad Pitt, so I thought this would make a fantastic gift for her! And boy, was I right! It turned out to be a gift for me as well. My wife does things to me that I never imagined she would! Thank you, I highly recommend Deep Throat for everyone! My wife certainly does!"
~Adrien
"I've always wanted to be an edgy trendsetter, so I decided I needed a more obnoxious sound. Thanks for the help, Deep Throat!"
~J
"Dogs annoy me. I wanted my voice to hit that perfect range where only dogs can hear it, but humans can't. Now I can go around irritating dog owners everywhere! Thanks, Deep Throat!"
~James